The Question That Changed My Life

Where I’m from, the first question you’re asked is, “Di chi sei?”—“Who do you belong to?” It’s not about identity but ownership. People want proof you’re claimed, tied to a name that matters, ideally a man’s. As a child, I would answer with my mother’s name—it was the only answer I knew. Every time, I was met with silence. What they wanted, I couldn’t give.

For a long time, I thought the problem was me. That I was incomplete, unfinished, missing something fundamental. It wasn’t until years later that I understood: the silence wasn’t my failure. It was their inability to see me outside of their narrow definitions. I didn’t belong to anyone, and I didn’t need to. I belonged to myself.

This blog was born from that realization. Visions and Revisions is a space where I lay claim to my story and invite others to explore theirs. It’s about the process of becoming—not the polished end result, but the messy, raw, ongoing reshaping of who we are. Because no one is ever truly finished, and the beauty of life is in its edits.

The name comes from T.S. Eliot’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock:

"There will be time for a hundred indecisions, / And for a hundred visions and revisions, / Before the taking of a toast and tea."

The first time I read those lines, I felt seen in a way I hadn’t before. Eliot put words to what I had felt my whole life—the hesitation, the self-doubt, the constant rewriting of who I was. At first, I thought it was a lament, a confession of fear. But over time, I realized it wasn’t just that. It was also permission. Permission to change, to try again, to reimagine ourselves endlessly. Life isn’t a single draft. It’s a mosaic of revisions—messy, imperfect, and profoundly human.

I don’t know if it’s ever happened to you—that moment when something you read splits your life in two, creating a clear before and after. For me, those words did that. They taught me to see myself not as a fixed being but as something constantly in flux. We are shaped by the people who love us, the stories that move us, and the moments that change us forever. We are mosaics—broken and beautiful, constantly rearranging.

This blog is about belonging. Not in the way I was asked about as a child—not about being claimed, but about building something for yourself. It’s about creating spaces where we can show up as we are, without apology. It’s about celebrating the multitudes we all contain—the contradictions, the doubts, the visions of who we might be, and the revisions that get us closer to it.

Visions and Revisions is for the girl I was, the one who dreamed of changing the world but wasn’t sure how to claim her place in it. It’s for anyone who has felt stuck between fear and possibility, between the life they have and the one they want. It’s a reminder that being unfinished is not a flaw; it’s the very essence of being alive.

This is a space for exploring, connecting, and embracing the chaos of becoming. It’s for the questions we ask, the stories we tell, and the moments that quietly, profoundly shift our world. We are who we love, and who loves us. We are the risks we take and the changes we never saw coming.

This blog is for all the visions and revisions that make us who we are. Welcome.